“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us. And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren.” 1 John 3:16.

The problem with the word love is that its meaning depends on how it is used. “I love my wife; I love my children; I love my job,” all mean something different.

Do you know what it is to love your wife, and your children? Can you love your job, your car, or sports without deserting your family emotionally?

Some owners will pet their dog or cat rather than caress their spouse; or have an animal on their lap rather than their child leaning on their breast.

Many of these emotional desertions come because the individual never had a stable home, living with no father in their life to show them an example of a loving husband and father.

Often they lived with a mother who had numerous boyfriends traipse through the home who either ignored the child or treated them contemptuously. The mother wanting to be accepted by her boyfriend, often ignored this abuse.

Then there are alcoholic or mean fathers, or mothers who opted out of motherhood. There is no need to make this stuff up; it is common in this evil world.

“Behold, children are a heritage from the Lord, the fruit of the womb is His reward.” Psalm 127:3.

“Take heed that you do not despise one of these little ones, for I say to you that in heaven their angels always see the face of My Father who is in heaven.” Matthew 18:10.

The pedophile or the physical child abuser’s punishment will descend like a thunderclap, whether in this life or the next, retribution will be sure and it will be horrific.

Evil cannot hide from the all-seeing eye of God nor can it escape the hand that can reach anywhere. Child abusers or predators need to repent while there is still time, or be cast into the fiery lake forever.

Child abuse does not stop here, there are many benign ways in which they are abused by corruption; violent movies, movies that sneer at moral behavior or subtly question things like marriage, virginity, honesty, and truthfulness go about stealthily destroying.

Many of these movies are highly entertaining, but what is the message? Next time you are in a garden nursery, look and see that they do not package manure in clear plastic bags.

Worse than the movies, some children are playing video games so violent that they are more corrupting than the blood splatter horror movies that the parents will not let them go to.

Another example of the morally destructive demonic programs headed by a diseased society is the current school system which does not teach children reading, writing, or math skills.

Instead children are dumbed down to be socialist led drones. They are lowered to the level of cattle by teaching them evolution.

The Common Core program is so confusing that children think that they are too stupid to comprehend it and give up altogether.

There is not even the teaching of Aristotle’s nine virtues to build character. These virtues are: wisdom, prudence, justice, fortitude, courage, liberality, magnificence, magnanimity, and temperance.

While my preference would be the teaching of Christian ethics, the nine virtues at least preserve human dignity which is lost in today’s education, science, politics, and business dealings. And worst of all love dies.

What are, or were your expectations in a relationship? Were those expectations shaped by music, poetry, romantic books and movies, or even the crass hedonism of the men’s magazines?

Think about those things that captured your imagination; the boy was always handsome and true, the girl was always sweet sixteen, beautiful and loving. All these are temporal things.

The girl is sixteen today and in thirty years she will be forty-six, the boy becomes a man who works all day and then parks himself in front of the television all evening; all the while both are still seeking the sweet sixteen and handsome young man ideal which no longer exists.

I honestly wish that we could spend our lives in the warm and fuzzy, riding a pink cloud, but that is not reality is it?

Philosophers and scientists have spent centuries trying to create paradise and have accomplished nothing. This failure is due to their stubborn resistance to the concept of the sin nature.

As in any math problem, if any part of your equation is wrong or missing the problem cannot be solved correctly. So too is the problem of loving coexistence in mankind. Under normal circumstances two plus two does not equal five in either the realm of mathematics or human nature.

So then, the warm and fuzzy, infatuation, or puppy love as it has been called is temporal and not a good model for the concept of love, nor is it a solid base for a marriage.

While it is true that many good marriages start out with unreal expectations, those expectations are soon replaced with the reality that they are held together by something much stronger than outward appearances, it is the person inside.

When the strength of the inward relationship is bolstered the outward differences are worked out, unfortunately, sometimes with raised voices, nevertheless the base remains intact because of its strength.

For this reason Scripture gives us some wonderful advice.

“Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath, nor give place to the devil.” Ephesians 4:26-27.

Love then, is a bond with no ulterior motives between souls and spirits, especially if it is the Holy Spirit that forges that bond.

Love can be accepted, reciprocated, battered, rejected, or destroyed.

Children have a natural unconditional love for their parents and a hero worship of their fathers. Yet, how many fathers abuse and reject their children, the only ones – the only ones, who will ever love them no matter how incompetent they are.

But with brute stupidity, these men destroy the only good thing they have, usually along with the love of their wife. Often they do this because they are the man, the head of the house, as if that were all to being a father.

Love then, is childlike in its simplicity, and tender as a mother with her child.

“But we were gentle among you, just as a nursing mother cherishes her own children.” 1 Thessalonians 2:7.

God is speaking to the Israelites in captivity in the following verse, but His love is the same for us.

“Can a woman forget her nursing child, and not have compassion on the son of her womb? Surely they may forget, yet I will not forget you.” Isaiah 49:15.

Often, love is an act of the will.

“Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself for it…” Ephesians 5:25.

This is not a matter of, if she meets certain conditions, or if she pleases you; it is a commandment of the highest sort because the love for your wife is expected to approach Christ’s love who gave Himself for us.

So this love is self-sacrificing.

“Husbands, love your wives and do not be bitter toward them.” Colossians 3:19.

Love as an act of the will is also given with compassion.

“Likewise you husbands, likewise, dwell with them with understanding, giving honor to the wife, as to the weaker vessel, and as being heirs together of the grace of life, that your prayers may not be hindered.” 1 Peter 3:7.

This command comes with a condition, “that your prayers may not be hindered”, remember that when your prayers seem to be bouncing off the ceiling and you feel utterly alone.

Christian love is empowered by the Holy Spirit, has no ulterior motives, and is childlike in its simplicity, tender, and an act of the will, long-suffering, self-sacrificing, and compassionate. Read again, 1 Corinthians 13:1-7.

The ultimate example of love is found in Christ and little surprise for Scripture tells us that God is love.

“By this we know love, because He laid down His life for us.” 1 John 3:16a.

Of all the things written above, this is the foundation of it all and if truly understood, nothing else need be said.

Oh that we could see the reality and the selflessness of this act of God Himself.

“O that old rugged cross, so despised by the world, has a wondrous attraction for me; for the dear Lamb of God left His glory above to bear it to dark Calvary. So I’ll cherish the old rugged cross, till my trophies at last I lay down; I will cling to the old rugged cross, and exchange it some day for a crown.” “The Old Rugged Cross”, words and music: George Bennard, 1873-1958.

“And we also ought to lay down our lives for the brethren” 1 John 3:16b.

Christians have literally laid down their lives for the brethren over the centuries, but laying down your life can mean other things as well.

“But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in Him?” 1 John 3:17.

A willingness to lay down ones life can extend to other areas.

“For none of us lives to himself, and no one dies to himself. For if we live, we live to the Lord; and if we die, we die to the Lord. Therefore, whether we live or die, we are the Lord’s.” Romans 14:7-8.

The Lord expects us to be willing to make sacrifices not just of our lives, if necessary, but of our substance too.

These things are not always as painful as they seem. Folks often ask what is expected of them as far as giving money.

Giving money is called tithing, and the answer is in the word itself, because tithe means a tenth, so ten percent of your income is a tithe. Whether you calculate it before or after taxes are taken out is up to you.

There are those who say tithes are an Old Testament concept and are not taught in the New Testament. This is not true but it is an excellent excuse to be cheap and greedy.

“Now concerning the ministering to the saints, it is superfluous for me to write to you; for I know your willingness” 2 Corinthians 9:1-2a.

“Therefore I thought it necessary to exhort the brethren to go to you ahead of time, and prepare your bountiful gift beforehand, which you had previously promised, that it may be ready as a matter of generosity and not as a grudging obligation. But this I say: He who sows sparingly will also reap sparingly, and he who sows bountifully will also reap bountifully. So let each one give as he purposes in his heart, not grudgingly or of necessity; for God loves a cheerful giver.” 2 Corinthians 9:5-7.

Several things in these verses are of interest, a gift, likely money, is gathered for those in need; it is promised to those who give bountifully that they will also reap bountifully, and that God loves a cheerful giver.

There are those who say that you cannot out give God. This makes some think that if they give God a hundred dollars, He will give them back two hundred dollars. This is not the case, especially if your motives are wrong; God is not some sort of investment banker.

Often a person will not even get back their hundred. And they are disappointed of course; blessings are not always money and if that is what you are looking for, your motives are wrong.

But count your blessings, does your food go farther, does your car run longer, are your children healthy during flu season, how many accidents, fires, thefts, and tickets do not happen?

For this reason we are urged to give thanks.

“In everything give thanks; for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus for you.” 1 Thessalonians 5:18.

“God loves a cheerful giver”, just like anyone else, if it pains you or you cannot afford it, do not give it. Who wants something given begrudgingly?

Even with your ten percent tithe, if you can only afford five percent or whatever, better to give that willingly than more with regret.

One last principle to consider is this.

“Bring all the tithes into the storehouse, that there may be food in My house, and prove Me now in this,” says the Lord of hosts, “If I will not open for you the windows of heaven and pour out for you such blessing that there will not be room enough to receive it. And I will rebuke the devourer for you sakes, so that he will not destroy the fruit of your ground, nor shall the vine fail to bear fruit for you in the field,” says the Lord of hosts…” Malachi 3:10-11.

To paraphrase one teacher, “Either you can give your money to the Lord so He can bless it, or you can give it to the devourer, the choice is yours.”

Many churches take money from unbelievers or visitors on Sunday morning, it is wrong to take money from others as though the church were charging for attendance.

Christian ministry should be supported by Christians alone; otherwise it gives unbelievers an opening to accuse the church of greed.

Money received should be used to support the church, its services, and the poor, not to build yet another magnificent edifice. How often churches waste money on unneeded buildings and exotic baubles when it is people who are in distress.

And how often do individuals buy a new boat when the old one is perfectly serviceable. Do not get me wrong, if you have money enjoy it, go out to dinner, buy new clothes, get a new car, but do not waste God’s blessings on frivolities just to spend.

“But whoever has this world’s goods, and sees his brother in need, and shuts up his heart from him, how does the love of God abide in him?” 1 John 3:17.

There have been quite a few times when I have seen someone in need and walked away thinking, “Gosh, that’s terrible”, and only later realized, “Hey, I could have helped them!”

We all have our foggy moments, it is unfortunate and all one can do is try to be more careful next time. It should be added that sometimes we do not have the means to help them and cannot help as a result.

This is not what this verse is saying. The New American Standard Bible is a little blunter.

“But whoever has the world’s goods, and beholds his brother in need and closes his heart against him, how does the love of God abide in him?” 1 John 3:17, NASB.

It is the act of closing one’s heart to a person’s need that shows a lack of love.

As stated in another place, sometimes the reason a person may close their heart against someone in need is due to hatred or anger against this person.

If this is the case, the offended Christian needs to pray about their lack of compassion for the object of their anger, both for love and for the capacity to forgive.

“My little children, let us not love in word or in tongue, but in deed and in truth.” 1 John 3:18.

Yogi Berra once said, “You can observe a lot by just watching.” This is good advice. If you observe yourself, you might find out whether you are just saying words or if you are motivated by love, be honest with yourself.

Love is not a warm and fuzzy feeling, nor is it mouthing the words I love you, nice as those things are, the real test comes when there is a genuine need.

“If a brother or sister is naked and destitute of daily food, and one of you says to them, ‘Depart in peace, be warmed and filled,’ but you do not give them the things which are needed for the body, what does it profit?” James 2:15-16.

What Is Love, 1 John 3:16-18 taken from godisrevealed.com posted on 12-28-11, updated on 6-23-18.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version, copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission, all rights reserved.