“Do not let your beauty be that outward adorning of arranging the hair, of wearing gold, or of putting on fine apparel…” 1 Peter 3:3.

“But let it be the hidden person of the heart, with the incorruptible ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:4.

Having considered 1 Peter 3:3 in the article posted on 5-4-20 the following will focus on 1 Peter 3:4. Both verses are shown above for context.

Continuing on we now see more of the balancing of verses three and four. The center of the equation is the word “But”.

“Do not let your beauty be that outward…” 1 Peter 3:3a.

“But let it be the hidden person of the heart…” 1 Peter 3:4a.

We must care for ourselves it is true; but it is the hidden person that softens and gives beauty its attraction.

Do not misunderstand me here, and consider this carefully, a woman can dress nicely or stylishly and be good looking or look nice, without trying to look sexy (which will often attract the wrong man).

I hope you understand me; it is hard to write things like this without sounding maudlin or judgmental.

Let us return to the phrase “the hidden person of the heart” 1 Peter 3:4a.

Now I know something about women that I will bet many women do not know. The secret is this; women want to be precious in the sight of those they love.

Many women throughout their Christian lives have probably asked themselves, what can I do to please God? We want a word from God, a sign, a Scripture, anything.

What can I do to please God?

Here is your answer. Chisel it in granite for it is straight from the mouth of God himself.

“…a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:4b.

You can know, you can feel, precious to God the Father. The creator of the universe, who indwells you by His Holy Spirit, God will look at you and think, “She is very precious to me”.

Can you find anywhere in the Bible anything that makes a clearer statement?

“For in this manner, in former times, the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands, as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” 1 Peter 3:5-6.

When you consider the words, “the holy women”, there are certain things that need to be understood. Primarily, it is important to remember that holiness is a character trait of God, that is to say that it is who He is. His absolute moral perfection governs His being.

Holiness, to you or I is imputed to us through the blood of Christ. Therefore, God looks at us through the sacrifice of Christ and sees us as holy. This is something we could not gain on our own.

It should be added that there is no such thing as an unbeliever who is holy or a religious “holy man”. No matter how nice they are. As long as they reject Jesus Christ as their Savior, they are in an unholy rebellion against God.

God’s holiness is not a set of rules that God goes by. It is His very nature. God is absolutely free from any moral evil and is infinite in His moral perfection. Infinitely pure, this staggers the imagination.

Jesus lived an absolutely sinless life because sin would not even enter His mind so pure were His thoughts. God’s holiness is who He is; our holiness is given (imputed) to us.

The holy women in the Bible had this same holiness imputed to them because of their faith in God. These women had determined to set themselves apart, to sanctify themselves for God.

Their desire being to honor God in their actions both for His sake and as a testimony to those around them, as they witnessed the purity of their conduct. I repeat, people watch you.

These holy women did not just drop out of the sky. They started out like you or I, just trying to get their ducks in line.

However, at some point they realized the tremendous weight of sin. Not just in what God was forgiving them for but as they looked around and saw the results of it and the evil ways in which it kept cropping up in their lives.

I believe it must have been a humbling experience. This would fuel the desire to be more pleasing to the God who had forgiven so much.

God hates sin. I am not talking about the sin we hate; murderers, violent thieves, child pornography, drug dealers. God hates all sin.

The so-called little white lies that roll off our lips so casually, the petty thefts at work (a pencil here, a box of paperclips there), the sins we love like gossip and keeping extra change given to us in error.

These women realized God hates all sin and they decided to set themselves apart from all known sin and to follow him. This is not an easy path, nor will it be for any who decide to follow after righteousness.

Nor does this mean that these women did not do sinful things at times, this happens to all of us.

“Beloved, now we are children of God; and it has not yet been revealed what we shall be, but we know that when He is revealed, we shall be like Him, for we shall see Him as He is. And everyone who has this hope in Him purifies himself, just as He is pure.” 1 John 3:2-3.

“If we say that we have no sin, we deceive ourselves, and the truth is not in us. If we confess our sins, He is faithful and just to forgive us our sins and to cleanse us from all unrighteousness.” 1 John 1:8-9.

Now we know why they are called holy women, what more is said of them?

“…the holy women who trusted in God also adorned themselves, being submissive to their own husbands…” 1 Peter 3:5b.

Again what did these holy women adorn themselves with?

“[it was the] …ornament of a gentle and quiet spirit, which is very precious in the sight of God.” 1 Peter 3:4b.

It does not say, “Who trusted in their own husbands, and were submissive to them”.

I sincerely hope that in your marriage you can trust your husbands. How much easier this would all be. Nevertheless, even the most sincere husband will fail at times. This is why they, “…trusted in God.”

It is He that will not fail you. He can be trusted because He is in control, something the most wonderful husband cannot do. Trusting God they submitted to their own husbands.

“…as Sarah obeyed Abraham, calling him lord, whose daughters you are if you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” 1 Peter 3:6.

In verse six, we find the example of Sarah obeying Abraham, followed by the beautiful statement, “Whose daughters you are.” It is possible to be seen as in the very daughters of Sarah and Abraham.

I would like you to give serious consideration to what I am about to propose. Please, at least think about it.

I do not know where you are at in your marriage, maybe you are very happy, maybe you are jammed into a corner, or anywhere in between.

But what happens very often is that one spouse offends the other somehow, the offended spouse retaliates or becomes bitter. This brings a reaction of some sort from the other, a chain reaction really.

These incidents can be very small, even unnoticeable, but the wall starts to go up. Guess what, it is going to take quite a wrecking crew to tear it down.

In love, being honest with each other, and prayerfully (either alone or together if you are both Christians) talking problems out will alleviate or end the problem, it may even take counseling if all you do is argue.

Be careful if you select counseling. Get a Christian counselor who knows what they are doing; some pastors do more harm than good.

When all has been said and done, I would like you to determine in your heart to treat your husband with loving kindness, regardless as to whether he responds in kind or not.

Not, “If he will be good I will be good.” Treat him this way because you trust in God, not in him. Before you do this pray to the God you trust, and ask Him to give you the strength to do this, and to change your husband’s heart.

Get used to praying this prayer. You may have to pray it many times.

“The effective, fervent prayer of a righteous man [woman] avails much.” James 5:16b.

The last phrase of 1 Peter 3:6 is, “If you do good and are not afraid with any terror.” Satan not only separates husbands and wives but he also preys on a particular weakness of women.

They can easily be made to fear. This in turn causes them to worry and seek quick fixes to a given situation, thus often stepping outside the Lord’s will.

The fear is natural but do not allow it to consume you. Take your fears to God in prayer and leave them with Him.

“…He who is in you is greater than he who is in the world.” 1 John 4:4b.

Sometimes it is something your husband can deal with. Often he can lift this burden off of you. God is with you; do not be terrorized.

If on the other hand this is the result of some willful sin of yours, you need to forsake it and confess it for God’s help. He will not help you sin. God loves you as His own dear child. Walk through all of your life with Him holding your right hand.

“In the fear [to reverently trust] of the Lord there is strong confidence, and His children [Christian women and men] will have a place of refuge. The fear of the Lord is a fountain of life, to avoid the snares of death.” Proverbs 14:26-27.

“I will love You, O Lord, my strength. The Lord is my rock and my fortress and my deliverer; my God my strength, in whom I will trust; my shield and the horn of my salvation my stronghold. I will call upon the Lord, who is worthy to be praised; so shall I be saved from my enemies.” Psalm 18:1-3.

“The name of the Lord is a strong tower; the righteous run to it and are safe.” Proverbs 18:10.

“For in the time of trouble He shall hide me in His pavilion; in the secret place of His tabernacle He shall hide me; He shall set me high upon a rock.” Psalm 27:5.

Chaste Conduct Part 3 taken from godisrevealed.com posted on 3-3-14, updated on 5-7-20.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission, all rights reserved.