Colossians 3:18b

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18.

Having seen the fruits of the propagandists in Colossians 3:18a posted on 5-16-20 let us now go on to examine God’s word on the subject.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands…” the word submit means “to subject one’s self, to obey.”

According to the concordance the Greek word itself is a military term meaning, “to arrange [troop divisions] in a military fashion under the command of a leader.”

Given the word’s Greek military origin, submit, takes on the feeling of a strong order rather than a do it if you can word.

The interesting thing about the military aspect of all this is that a good commander gathers facts before he makes a decision. His own decision to make of course, good or bad, and it becomes his responsibility.

But first he listens to his subordinates and his scouts give their reports, then he considers carefully the advice and the data. With all things considered, and the facts examined, the commander commits himself to a plan.

“Without counsel, plans go awry, but in the multitude of counselors they are established.” Proverbs 15:22.

While the wife does indeed submit herself to whatever plan there is, she also has the right to give the facts as she knows them and to offer her opinions and they should be listened to.

The husband has the right to do as he wishes but to say, “I am the law!” and to do just as he pleases is not prudent and has a greater chance of failure because he has not gathered evidence carefully.

Remember this husbands, the more you fail, the less you will be trusted next time.

“A wise man will hear and increase learning, and a man of understanding will attain wise counsel…” Proverbs 1:5.

We will leave the word submission right now, but as we go along you may learn some interesting things about it, so be aware.

This next phrase means a lot when it comes to submission, so please consider it carefully. “Wives, submit to your own husbands…” this phrase, submit to your own husbands is repeated often, and it means exactly what it says.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as to the Lord.” Ephesians 5:22.

“Likewise you wives, be submissive to your own husbands…” 1 Peter 3:1a.

Women sometimes make the mistake of being submissive and forgetting that it means to their own husbands, not all men.

The pastor, the elder, or the wife of the pastor or elder has no right to come to you and tell you to do something or to take on some task; your authority is your husband.

I do not mean that they cannot ask you to obey certain safety regulations, or take something to a Sunday school classroom, or to hand out some bulletins. That is something you can say yes or no to on your own; basically non-issues.

But if they tell you to teach a Sunday school class, or head up a women’s Bible study, or drive some man to his home, then the polite thing to do would be to say to them, “Let me talk with my husband and I will get back to you.”

You are not obligated to take on some task just because the pastor says so.

However, if anyone or someone in authority comes to you with a complaint about you or your husband, you will need to tell them politely, “That is something you will have to take up with my husband.”

A reply like that will often take care of the busybodies because they are not likely to take it up with your husband. But be prepared to submit if your husband agrees with the criticism.

If you work outside of the home, you are obligated to carry out the orders of your employer as long as they are within the scope of your duties.

If, on the other hand your boss asks you to start staying late to work alone with him on some project, you are not obligated to do so, especially if you suspect ulterior motives.

Take it up with your husband, he may say no, or he may decide to drop by the office a little early to wait for you. Whatever the case, if your husband says no, do not do it.

The same applies to business trips with the boss; a wife should not be coerced into doing anything immoral or that has a color of immorality.

Consult your husband at all times. Do not tell your husband that you have to do what the boss says. Not if you are in submission to your husband.

“But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God.” 1 Corinthians 11:2.

As you can see by this verse, women are not being asked to do anything that the Lord Jesus Christ has not already done.

“Let this mind be in you [man or woman] which was also in Christ Jesus, who, being in the form of God, did not consider it robbery to be equal with God, but made Himself of no reputation, taking the form of a servant, and coming in the likeness of men. And being found in appearance as a man, He humbled Himself and became obedient to the point of death, even the death of the cross.” Philippians 2:5-8.

“Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord.” Colossians 3:18.

The last phrase in this verse, “…as is fitting in the Lord” can mean one of two things or both.

The first thought is that “…as is fitting in the Lord” means that submitting to your own husbands is the right and proper thing to do in God’s sight. In other words, this is not man’s commandment but God’s.

The second thought is that it means that the things the woman is asked to submit to by her husband should be fitting to the Lord, or moral, or right in God’s sight.

Put simply the husband has no right to demand that you do something sinful, and you have the right to refuse.

Bear in mind though those sinful or questionable things may mean different things to different folks.

“Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves. But he who doubts is condemned if he eats, because he does not eat from faith; for whatever is not from faith is sin.” Romans 14:22-23.

“Therefore, to him who knows to do good and does not do it, to him it is sin.” James 4:17.

The verse from Romans 14 above is in reference to food; some Christians eat vegetables only and others do not; it does not matter which belief you have, just make sure you believe it firmly as being from God, “…whatever is not from faith is sin.”

To take this further, some believe you can have wine, others do not; do they have faith in what they believe?

So, husband, wife, what do you believe, is it okay to go out to dinner and have a drink with it?

Husband, should you make your wife go if she does not believe in drinking (this is assuming neither of you have alcohol problems)?

Wife is this such an issue of sin to you that you would refuse to go to a reputable place with your husband even if you did not drink?

I have picked on alcohol because it is such an obvious point of contention for some. But the real question here is what do you believe, and what things will you take a stand on, and what things are even worth making a stand on?

Wives, or husbands, do not make your spouse unhappy by taking a stand on something that you are not sure of.

“Therefore let us not judge one another anymore, but rather resolve this, not to put a stumbling block or a cause to fall in our brother’s way. I know and am convinced by the Lord Jesus that there is nothing unclean of itself; but to him who considers anything to be unclean, to him it is unclean. Yet if your brother is grieved because of your food, you are no longer walking in love. Do not destroy with your food the one for whom Christ died. Therefore do not let your good be spoken of as evil; for the kingdom of God is not food and drink, but righteousness and peace and joy in the Holy Spirit.” Romans14:13-17.

If you make a study of a questionable thing in the Scriptures the Holy Spirit can guide you to the right decision.

“Do you have faith? Have it to yourself before God. Happy is he who does not condemn himself in what he approves.” Romans 14:22.

If the Holy Spirit does not convict you of something as sin, then happy you will be; if you do not condemn yourself in doing it.

“Therefore let us pursue the things which make for peace and the things by which one may edify [build up] another.” Romans 14:19.

Colossians 3:18b taken from posted on 3-14-14, updated on 5-19-20.

Scripture taken from the New King James Version, Copyright 1982 by Thomas Nelson, Inc. Used by permission, all rights reserved.

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